George Jarjour
Thanksgiving week is upon us. And if you follow our weekly Quarterback power rankings, we like to break the tiers down into Real Estate. Well, this week, since it’s Thanksgiving week, I decided to break the QB tiers down by Thanksgiving foods from the good, the average and the absolute tasty. Happy Thanksgiving week, we are facing a Thanksgiving unlike any other, and an NFL season unlike any other. Enjoy your Turkey, Mashed Potatoes and Stuffing. We all know none of you eat those rolls or cranberries.
The Cranberries
Look, Cranberries on top of Turkey is quite literally the most overrated dish in Thanksgiving. Everyone takes a very small spoon of it, puts it on the side and forgets about it. What sucks, is when you have to wash it out. If Cranberries are missing from the Thanksgiving table no one really misses it . These quarterbacks are the Cranberries of the NFL.
This is the only true cranberry sauce.
I won’t be taking questions at this time. pic.twitter.com/wU6uuF6Jq3
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) November 18, 2020
- Nick Mullens- San Francisco 49ers
Good news for Nick Mullens. There is nowhere else but up from here.
31 Ryan Finley – Cincinnati Bengals
It pains me that we have to have Ryan Finley here. It might be awhile before we see Joe Burrow again. But goes to show.. Protect your prized assets.
- Joe Flacco- New York Jets
Joe Flacco won’t die. And Joe Flacco continues to cover spreads.
- Andy Dalton- Dallas Cowboys
Could Andy Dalton make another playoff game by winning the NFC East? Maybe. Gross.
- Alex Smith- Washington Football Team
Maybe the most feel good story of 2020 is Alex Smith. First good thing to come out of the year.
- Jake Luton- Jacksonville Jaguars
Jake Luton could be done by next week. But does it matter. Him or Minshew are not the future.
- Nick Foles- Chicago Bears
At least Nick Foles is supposedly well endowed.
Rolls
Everyone takes a roll. No one has ever in the history of Thanksgiving eaten the roll. It’s literally just there. They aren’t quite horrible or anything, but no one has ever said “I can’t wait for the rolls on Thanksgiving”. These quarterbacks are the rolls of the NFL.
Twitter told me aldis has vegan Hawaiian rolls & I can confirm that.
Thanksgiving shopping is now complete. pic.twitter.com/qEnmQK4puO— C-Money (@carbsandcosmos) November 21, 2020
- Kirk Cousins- Minnesota Vikings
Right when you think the Vikings would turn the corner, they lose to the hapless cowboys. But can’t put all the blame on Kirk.
- Drew Lock- Denver Broncos
At least Drew Lock has swag. Not much more than that. But swag is good.
- Taysom Hill- New Orleans Saints
I still do not believe in Taysom Hill because he can not throw the football.
- Teddy Bridgewater- Carolina Panthers
This is assuming Teddy Bridgewater is back next week.
- Cam Newton- New England Patriots
Cam is not the answer for New England.
- Carson Wentz- Philadelphia Eagles
I can no longer defend Carson Wentz.
- Baker Mayfield- Cleveland Browns
I do not know if the Browns can score more than 20 points in a game and that might be Baker Mayfield’s fault.
Turkey
Despite being the main dish of Thanksgiving, Turkey is average. Turkey is good. But it’s everything around Turkey that makes Thanksgiving special. Plus there’s a reason we don’t want to eat Turkey all year. These are the Turkey’s of NFL quarterbacks.
Every year, the president of the United States carries out the annual Thanksgiving tradition of 'Turkey pardoning'. Here’s a look back ? pic.twitter.com/OIxUjrVk8z
— Reuters (@Reuters) November 24, 2020
- Phil Rivers- Indianapolis Colts
Whatever. Phil Rivers is smart. Can’t throw the football but he’s smart.
- Matt Stafford- Detroit Lions
Matt Stafford plays every Thanksgiving. So he belongs on the Turkey list.
- Matt Ryan- Atlanta Falcons
In an alternative universe Matt Ryan is a top 10 QB this year.
- Daniel Jones- New York Giants
I think Daniel Jones could be the future in New York.
- Ryan Tannehill- Tennessee Titans
Ryan Tannehill is solid. Just like Turkey.
- Tua Tagalivoa- Miami Dolphins
I probably should have Tua lower but one bad week won’t let me punish him yet.I am in a giving mood.
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
Yum. Everyone loves mashed potatoes and gravy. It might not be everyone’s favorite dish on Thanksgiving. But, literally no one has ever had mashed potatoes and gravy and said “these suck”. These quarterbacks are the mashed potatoes and gravy of the NFL.
Only a few more days until you get to enjoy your first Thanksgiving dinner of the season! Roasted turkey, Chef Dave's sage stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, and green bean casserole. Don't forget to add on a pie for dessert.
Order now at https://t.co/tBp5KKPFM8 or call 616.7 pic.twitter.com/nXbSckHJsI— English Hills (@English_Hills) November 16, 2020
- Jared Goff- Los Angeles Rams
Just like mashed potatoes and gravy you can tell if Jared Goff will be good from the first bite of the game.
11. Justin Herbert- Los Angeles Chargers
One day Justin Herbert will go through puberty and look like an NFL QB.
- Lamar Jackson- Baltimore Ravens
Lamar is in danger of falling into the third teir of QBs.
9. Deshaun Watson- Houston Texans
Deshaun will be back. He’s a top 10 QB but this is power rankings.
- Derek Carr- Las Vegas Raiders
Despite the loss to the Chiefs, Carr looked like a franchise QB.
- Tom Brady- Tampa Bay Buccaneers
These night games for Tampa Bay and Brady are definitely past his bedtime.
- Josh Allen- Buffalo Bills
If I told you Josh Allen would be the best QB out of Baker Mayfield, Sam Darnold and Lamar Jackson’s draft class.. What would you have said?
- Ben Roethlisberger- Pittsburgh Steelers
Not sure if he belongs here but the Steelers are undefeated.
Stuffing
You have good stuffing. You are happy. The stuffing goes with gravy, goes with turkey, goes with literally anything. If you have good stuffing you are in a good place and can remain happy. These quarterbacks are the stuffing of the NFL.
For my Micro Thanksgiving this year (4 people!), I’m making my Herb & Apple Bread Pudding. Instead of stuffing the turkey which can dry it out, this savory bread pudding bakes separately but has all the flavor of traditional stuffing! https://t.co/NiXooWjeIo pic.twitter.com/WjCtksKlut
— Ina Garten (@inagarten) November 18, 2020
- Aaron Rodgers- Green Bay Packers
I think Aaron Rodgers will retire with one Super Bowl title. It’s a shame.
- Kyler Murray- Arizona Cardinals
Kyler Murray will be a problem for years to come. And he stuffs the stat sheet (see what I did there).
- Russell Wilson – Seattle Seahawks
Russell Wilson might not receive an MVP vote this year again, despite that, he’s been an absolute baller all year.
- Patrick Mahomes- Kansas City Chiefs
Was there any doubt Mahomes and the Chiefs would score on that last drive? I say no.
